At times I am startled at my own thoughts and feelings, which come at out of the ordinary hours. And similarly one thought occupied my mind yesterday while driving active back to my home. I was tired and next to exhausted with the screeching crowd and whistling vehicles on the road. Looking left and right and then straight was my activity when my mind asked me why am I born? It was an odd question at an odd hour. I ignored it and again after few seconds I was put to the same question, why am I born? And I thought of my Guru Sai. I whispered in my heart that God, I love you and adore you so much. You are more than my mother to me, always standing by my side, teaching me, testing me, loving me, and hugging me when I am crying. Why am I here on this earth so far from your world? Why am I not near you sitting in your lotus feet and watching your beautiful and pleasant face? Why am I not able to talk to you in person and listening to your command and see you smiling while consoling me? Why can’t I make you eat food prepared by my own self?
And a voice answered. “My child, I am always near you, watching you, smiling with you, accepting all your love filled offerings. I am listening to you and answering you through your inner voice. Your inner voice is always my choice. Close your eyes and you can see me on calling my name with love and devotion. You are a part of me and sent on earth for my purpose. You have to realize that purpose and accomplish it with my teachings. As you are My child, you will face struggles, obstacles, barriers, disappointments and harassments which will make you strong. Your deeds and honesty is your way to heaven, your patience and faith in me is your way to Me. On fulfilling that purpose, I shall pull you back to me from earth in my own world and you can stay with me, see me and rest in my lotus feet. Your thirst will then be drenched.
And I took a deep breath feeling that it is just a matter of 50-60 years that I am away from my destination, my God and on achieving the purpose I am made for, I will be back to my Lord. I feel I am on a “banvaas” of some years from my Sai Maa, which will end up one day.
I shall be honest and faithful to the tasks assigned, to my godly purpose and to my goal.
